“When I spit, its like me selecting a page out of my diary, making copies for everybody, and passing it out. This material is original.”
This deserves a repost
Agree! I hate when girls bitch about the crappy men in their lives when they go around doing the same shit. Doesn’t feel so good does it!!??
Nas really encouraged me last night. she is the truth. you shouldnt do anything without knowing why you’re doing it. those girls had in me in a philosophical state of mind last night. im inspired to go do my homework on certain creeds i hold to be absolute…and that is what friendship should do. it should inspire growth.
id like to be sober right now tho…thats my only thing.
“See, many of you fail to realize that words have just as much power as sticks and stones and that paper still beats rock…I had to come to realize this..”
excerpt from my piece “Why I Spit”
I need you to show me…
Show me better than can you can tell me because your words are as empty as I feel
I feel like I’m in solitary confinement with no hope of escape because my extremities are bound within restraints
I’m stuck on you
And it’s making me crazy because my emotions make no sense
Tell me how a person can be territorial over a territory that they don’t even possess?
Well that’s how I do…because it seems as though Ive already emotionally staked my claim on you
Put my name on you…
Ive been down to the agency…did my research and handpicked you …youre my baby…and you don’t even know it yet
I have you damn near down to a science because I study you…you’re a subject Im very passionate about and my dream is to pass you with flying colors…Yes, my other classes prove interesting and the professors good looking but I find myself craving to be seated in the front row of your classroom
My eyes are stuck on you
but im starting to realize that no matter how much work I put in…my final grade is your decision
So I guess what im doing is asking you permission
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t reached the point where I CAN’T be your friend I just don’t WANT to
Im like a kid in a candy store, baby, I WANT you
I feel like your my favorite toy and these other females wanna play with you and I don’t want to share you
My hands are stuck to you
But, Im being foolish right…because you’ve already told me that Im in first place…
Yea, you say I’m in first place, but whats first place without the reward? Its lonely up here on this podium … Standing higher than everyone else but not reaping any of the benefits because you’d rather offer praise to the ones standing beneath me…
Yes I said, beneath me…because even though they are them they could never be me!
Matter of fact STOP making a PLACE for me…be the PLACE for me..
Let me dwell within your head space, I swear Im an impeccable interior designer
I am tired….I shouldn’t feel like im over compensating when all im doing is letting these feelings come naturally
And actually, there is nothing wrong with that because putting up a front takes work
But either way I look down at my nails and I see dirt because
I still find myself putting up these fronts
Acting like certain things don’t bother me when they do, and I’m getting tired of putting them up
And I guess I shouldn’t feel this way because…technically I knew the deal up front but I cant change any of that now…All I have to work with is the here and now and its not much…
Because in reality were are just friends but it seems that only in MY mind…its not as such
I can admit that to myself…and all I’m asking you to do is if you secretly feel the same then please do share the wealth…but if that’s not the case
All I can do is pray that this adhesive wears down over time…and I quickly shy away from this weird delusion that your mine…and I’m eventually able get back on my mary j and get back to feeling just fine
But in the mean time…Im stuck on you